CUPID PARASITE

The goddess Cupid is tired of matchmaking the god-like way; divorce rates are skyrocketing, and her father -- Mars -- is blaming her. Maybe she can try the human way? Taking on the name Lynette Mirror, Cupid leaves Celestia and comes to the human world. In Los York, there's a famous matchmaking company: The Cupid Corporation. Lynette becomes a bridal advisor to prove humans are just as capable as her of finding their true love. She needs to become the #1 bridal advisor before she can prove Mars wrong and return to Celestia, but there's one thing in her way. The Parasite 5; five men who are so incapable of finding and keeping a match that no other advisor will work with them. Lynette is promised that if she can find a match for these hopeless men, she'll be promoted -- finally achieving her dream, and forcing her dad to admit defeat. Unfortunately for her, the Parasite 5 is a force to be reckoned with. Can she help these parasites find their love?

The Parasite 5 is a special group. Ryuki Keisaiin is the Glamour Parasite; he's so obsessed with appearances that he insults any woman who comes near him. Shelby Snail is the Prestige Parasite, who's so focused on work that he can't bother to spend time with any woman who shows interest. Gill Lovecraft is the Lovelorn Parasite who can't get over his ex-love and compares every woman to her -- much to their displeasure. Raul Aconite is the Obsessed Parasite, who scares off any woman that comes near him with his mythology info dumping. Lastly, we have Allan Melville -- the Theiving Parasite -- who only dates women who are already dating someone else. These five men are so completely undateable that it seems like trying to find a match for any of them is a lost cause. I loved that as each "parasite" gets closer to Lynette, their parasitic personality traits become more endearing than they do annoying.

I LOVED Cupid Parasite. It's one of my all-time favorite otoges. I enjoyed that we start off knowing these guys are all god-awful and not worth a damn. While Lynette helps them heal their parasitic tendencies, it doesn't give off a horrible savior complex like some games might suffer from. I enjoyed watching the Parasite 5 go from some of the worst, most obnoxious people you've met, to caring people who come to terms with and attempt to fix their faults. Cupid Parasite is at its core a pure romcom. Raul and Allan's routes have some drama, but overall the game is simply supposed to be a fun and hilarious journey trying to figure out how to make these strange men palpable for other women. The 5 main routes in this game only have normal and good endings, other than one bad ending in Allan's route. There are a few bad endings that are game-stopping endings for not answering correctly earlier in the game. If you're a bad ending hater, then rejoice. You can enjoy this game without Lynette or one of the guys randomly ending up dead...sorta.

Cupid Parasite has three -- I suppose four -- women of consequence. One of the four is named Melanie, and she sadly doesn't get a character sprite. She's only really featured in the common route and Ryuki's route, but I loved her for the short duration I got to spend with her. She suffers from poor self-confidence, and Lynette is her hype-woman on her quest to find a boyfriend. Catherine Spade is a strange but beautiful woman who appears in some routes. Her character is a bit of a spoiler, so I'll leave it at that. Claris is Lynette's roommate and friend from her early days on Earth as a college student. Claris also works at Cupid Corp and shows up in every route, some more prominently than others. I LOVE Claris because she's such a good friend to Lynette, but is also the complete opposite of her in many ways. While Lynette is focused on finding love for other people, Claris is out every weekend with a new boytoy. They have such a fun relationship, and I always appreciate it when an otome MC has a female friend who's featured heavily throughout the game. It's exhausting when they have no support system, but Lynette does through Claris. Lastly, we have Minerva, the goddess of wisdom and Lynette's aunt. Minerva is mainly featured in the common route, although she does appear in other routes occasionally. She's a smart lady with a bizarre obsession with hats. She's very into the human world and is the one that primarily convinces Lynette to go there to prove Mar's wrong. I found her very funny; she was so strange, and honestly, I sometimes thought she was supposed to be a parody of Americans who are obsessed with Japanese culture.

Gill, Ryuki, and Shelby can be done in any order. Raul and Allan are locked behind you completing ONE route, but after the first route, you're free to romance them. DON'T DO IT. Raul should be saved for 4th and Allan for last because they're both the two most important characters as far as the plot of the game goes. If you truly wanted to play them earlier you could, but I also think because their routes are the most emotionally impactful, you probably won't enjoy the other routes. A lot of people say that after Allan's route, they can't even imagine playing the other routes again because you can't imagine Lynette with anyone else. In addition, there's a "secret" route that only unlocks after completing the other 5 routes. This route has no choices and only has one ending. Some people consider this to be the canon ending, but the storyline is different than the rest of the game. It completely ignores the common route even. I enjoyed the secret route, but I still believe Allan is the true "canon" ending if you believe such a thing exists in otoges. Overall, I think Otome Kitten's route order is preferable, but you can do the first three in any order. I found Gill to be insufferable so I was glad I put him in the middle as she suggested so that I had some more solid routes to start with.

Allan Melville

Allan is known as the "Thieving Parasite" due to his interest in only going out with taken women and having no issues in stealing them from their boyfriends. He works at a pillow store that sells high-end, luxury pillows -- a gig I never knew I wanted until I played his route. He claims he does want to get married -- hence why he's asked Cupid Corp to help him find a wife -- but he seems to be ignoring Lynette's pleas to change his playboy ways. Can poor Lynette truly find someone to save him from getting more phone calls from men threatening to beat him to a pulp?

Allan is love, Allan is life! He's one of my favorite LI's of all time. His route is a blast and has such an unexpected turn halfway through that I couldn't believe it when it happened. Cupid Parasite is very much a romcom, but Allan's route is where the REAL drama hits. There were hints of his true nature throughout every other route -- Gill's route probably being his most interesting cameo -- but it finally all comes together on his own. They're not fated lovers or soulmates like other poster boys in otome -- they're something beyond that, but I won't spoil it for you. A lot of people will say they didn't like Allan at all in the common route, but their opinion of him completely turned around only a quarter of the way through his route. Flirty characters are hit or miss for me, and I don't like cheaters, but you find out Allan turns these two supposed traits of his on its head. I wish I could erase my memories of his route and replay it again for the first time. While I do like some of the other guys, Lynette and Allan are meant to be. I haven't had a ship I cared enough to refer to as an OTP in over a decade, but Lynette and Allan are IT baby!!!

Allan's route is -- in my opinion -- extremely romantic, but I think this is one of those your mileage may vary romance moments. It doesn't have quite as many lovey-dovey scenes as some of the other routes, but the storyline is genuinely one of the most romantic things I've read in my life. Allan's route lives and breathes romance in a way that I haven't previously experienced in an otome. As far as the more physical romance goes, that's packed in at the beginning and the end. I cannot express enough how deeply invested in Allan's character arc and his relationship with Lynette I became. I genuinely wished I could have spent twice as long on his story just because I was so in love with the plot. Allan's route is also the only route that featured as a true "bad end"; however, it's delightful in its own way, and many people don't feel that it's a bad end; it's at least not a bad end in the traditional sense of most otome games, so if you're a bad end hater I promise this is one you'll be able to stomach, and might even enjoy.

Gill Lovecraft

Gill joined Cupid Corp in a desperate attempt to get over his long-lost love; unfortunately for him -- and every woman he's paired with -- he just can't stop comparing them to his old flame. He works as a freelance editor for multiple Los York publications. Gill went to college with Lynette; he was Lynette and Claris' former roommate during college as well. He prides himself on having taught Lynette everything she knows about being human -- not that he knows she isn't human; he figured she came from a very VERY sheltered family.

Oh, Gill...I hated this man. He's clingy, weird, and honestly a little toxic. About half of his route is told in flashbacks, showing Lynette and himself in college. I enjoyed them because I love Lynette with all my heart and soul, so I was glad for any information about some of her "human" life before Cupid Corp. I didn't love that I had to sit through Gill's constant monologuing about his eternal love for Lynette. I'll be honest; his love for Lynette mostly stems from him realizing she didn't know how to take care of herself, and he became obsessed with taking care of her himself. I can appreciate a man who can do housework, but it came off as very condescending and freak-like behavior. He wanted to baby Lynette, and not in a cute "let me take care of you" way but in a domineering and toxic fashion that frankly made me uncomfortable. Since Gill is the second poster boy along with Allan, I thought his route would be...something more. It also goes COMPLETELY off the rails at the end, which was probably the only enjoyable part of his route -- the batshit climax.

Weirdly, I think Gill's route is the most plot-heavy. I think it's because of the sheer amount of flashbacks. Lynette had no idea that Gill was head over heels for her, so the flashbacks offer no romance -- other than getting in Gill's head and seeing how much he liked her -- and the present-day stuff had a boring conflict that got in the way of romance for a little too long. I don't think his route was worth much other than the backstory on Lynette. His love for Lynette comes off more as wanting to take care of a helpless creature than actually caring for her as a person.

Shelby Snail

Shelby Snail is SS in all things. He's the president of Cupid Corp and has an unfortunate secret...although he runs a matchmaking business, he doesn't have a wife of his own. He's been pretending for some time now that he's married due to a hiccup during an interview, but now he's realizing he can't keep playing the "my wife is sick" card for the rest of his life. He's a straight-cut, no-nonsense type of guy, but hopelessly lost when it comes to love. He can't seem to allow himself to get close to anyone.

I actually sort of loved Shelby. I found his constant fumbling in the romance department quite endearing, and his route happens to contain one of my all-time favorite tropes: fake dating. Or in this case, fake marriage. Lynette and Shelby get up to some silly hijinx while trying to not let his lack of a real wife get out as public knowledge. I think his obsession with being SS in all aspects of life was also hilarious. Who doesn't love a man who wants to be the best version of himself? He takes his SS lifestyle maybe a little too far, which would be why he's wife-less at over 30. I will say, that the backstory for why he won't allow himself to form deep relationships with others was...goofy. Like, goofy. I look past it though, because I thought his route was quite sweet, and I loved his normal and good endings.

Shelby's route is a decent mix of romance and plot. Since the plot is about them faking a marriage, a lot of the romance comes from them trying to keep up appearances, and Shelby slowly letting his walls down. The plot was a little silly -- not just his backstory reveal, but the actual plot itself -- but considering this is a romcom, I can't complain. The villains for Shelby's route were honestly pretty funny; you'll also definitely figure out who they are very early on, but their being disguised isn't the major plot point, it's what they're trying to do. Lynette and Shelby have a cute romance, and I enjoyed the climax of his route a lot.

Ryuki Keisaiin

Ryuki is a fashion designer who comes from a long line of designers out of Japan. He moved to Los York to try to become a designer who doesn't rely on his family's prestige to make a name for himself. He's very judgmental of appearances and keeps a spray bottle of moisturizer on him to use on anyone who's suffering from dehydrated skin -- which happens to be everyone. Ryuki also has synesthesia and associates colors with people; he has no issue pointing out you have an ugly color and seems to have every hex color code memorized to throw it in your face.

I didn't like Ryuki at all when I started. Tsundere's continue to not be my cup of tea. He's not as nasty as some, but I didn't appreciate him calling my lovely and beautiful wife Lynette hideous, repeatedly, as often as he could. Like any (good) tsundere route, he lightens up throughout the route. I could almost forgive him by the end, but he is still ranked at the bottom, only slightly above Gill. Since he's the youngest, he has the most pure relationship with Lynette out of all of them. I don't think there's a way to improve his route to make me like it beyond scraping his entire personality and starting over. It also really bothered me that Lynette was attempting to help a different client -- who already had severe self-esteem issues -- and Ryuki kept destroying her delicate mental state even further. I dunno, I know there are a lot of people out there that are into degradation but I just can't stand it even though I don't self-insert. Don't speak to my wife like that!!

Once you get over the Ryuki-is-an-asshole hump, his route is pretty romantic. As I said, it's much more pure than the others, but it's sort of sweet if you look past his annoying personality. I wasn't a super fan of his plot; when I think about it, his baseline plot is quite similar to Gill's. It's basically about not running away from family. There's more to it than that of course -- for both routes -- but that's what it boils down to. If you like tsundere's or are indifferent to them, then I think you'll find his route enjoyable as equal parts romance and plot.

Raul Aconite

Raul is a famous Sillywood action star. He's been cast in his first romance and he's just...not good. Since he's floundering so hard at playing a love interest, his agents signed him up to join Cupid Corp so that he could practice dating and "being in love" in hopes that it'll improve his acting. While none of the LI's are trying hard to find someone to marry, Raul is one of the worst since his is all acting practice. He also is a huge Greek mythology fan and is a bit overbearing with his constant info dumping.

I love himbo's, so I was immediately enamored by how stupid yet smart Raul is. When he realizes Lynette has some interest in Greek mythology -- of course, not knowing she's Cupid herself -- he becomes borderline unbearable to her. He's obsessed with her "takes" on Greek mythology since he doesn't know she TECHNICALLY knows these gods and goddesses in real life. He finds it endearing that she refers to them by their Roman names. Raul has some interesting thoughts himself, firmly believing that Poseidon is a woman. This leads to him getting into many arguments with other mythology fans. Raul's route goes from 0 to 100 and has a huge spoiler for one of the characters -- a spoiler that's much more intense than the other "spoilers" contained in other routes. He has a plot twist that I couldn't have possibly seen coming, and I enjoyed the wild ride he took me on.

Raul's route is STEAMY. It took me by surprise, especially seeing how Lynette immediately went along with it. You'll notice throughout the routes that she has her ideas about what love is and what it means, and Raul turned her opinions on their head. While Raul has A LOT of plot -- especially at the end -- he also has a lot of romance, although it's not the same sort of build-up that exists in the other routes. It's just there, immediately. Which was sort of fun, and it was less jarring than the usual "MC falls in love with a LI immediately" that some other otoges pull since there's a very good reason for Raul just jumping in. Even if you're not interested in the romance aspect of his route, I will say his plot is 100% worth it. The villain's reveal at the end and the reveal of their motivations offer important context for the whole plot of the game.

Lynette Mirror

Lynette Mirror is her human name, but in actuality, she's the minor goddess Cupid. She's the daughter of Mars and Venus -- god of war and goddess of love -- and spends her days looking in her Cupid pool, pulling back her bow, and shooting unsuspecting humans with her golden arrows to make them fall in love. She wonders, though, if she's really necessary. An argument with Mars ends in her defiant act of going to the human world to prove that humans are just as capable of making romantic matches as she is. Her journey eventually lands her at Cupid Corp, and she becomes a top bridal advisor, putting her matchmaking skills to the test using the "human" method instead of her bow and arrows. Lynette is a career-focused woman and puts her all into her work. Since she's so busy matching other people, it's never occurred to her that she might want to find a boyfriend of her own -- until she meets the Parasite 5.

I love Lynette. She's tied for first as far as my favorite MC's go. I love that she's driven and doesn't allow anyone to get in the way of her goals. She's sweet and caring but also balances that out with being strong-willed and not letting people step all over her. She's such a good MC, and I especially love that she was never making stupid mistakes to further the plot. They never forced her into being a bumbling oaf so that the guys would have to save her, and she made rational and adult decisions throughout each route. Since a lot of console otoges tend to appeal to a younger market, I'm used to having to sit through some mind-numbingly stupid antics, because it's what a teenager or early 20s-something would do. Lynette doesn't do that; she has her strengths and weaknesses like any character, but they blend in a way that makes her feel much more adult than other MC's.

I love Cupid Parasite, and I think it's a great otoge for ANYONE. Since the game is mostly lighthearted, people who aren't into super constant heavy topics can enjoy it. Raul and Allan's route has the drama and intensity other otoge players might want, but not so intense that the former group can't handle it. For people who love the heavy stuff, I think it's a good buffer game to give your brain a break before going into the next game. It's funny, delightful, endearing, and has a surprisingly complex plotline as you find out by the end. While I didn't love Ryuki and I hated Gill; Shelby, Raul, and especially Allan all made up for it and then some. The secret route was also surprisingly delightful in its way. Lynette is a wonderful protagonist, and the way her relationships develop with all the guys feels very realistic. I do think that since playing this game, I've struggled to find otoges that live up to it. It's truly in its league as far as the complexity of characters and plot go. I cannot recommend this game enough, and it's been my gateway drug game to get people to try an otome.